2014 Resolutions: Can you keep them?

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It’s once again time to make New Year resolutions – We present a few quirky ones

By Cheryl Chia

I know you probably didn’t keep your New Year resolutions from the start of 2013. Or, maybe you managed to accomplish just one or two on your list.

Resolutions are hard to keep as you tend to forget what you promised yourself in the beginning of the year. Heck, you probably can’t even remember what you had for dinner two days ago.

I’m usually not even bothered to make a list in the first place as I assume that like a fine wine, people just get better with age. Then again, look at Kanye West and the guy from the Duck Dynasty programme.

Here are a few simple (or not) New Year resolutions to try to keep in 2014.

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1. Write 2014 instead of 2013

Every year, this mistake is commonly made, especially in January. Part of the reason for making a resolution is to help you to become (or appear as) a better and smarter person.

The first step is to get your dates right.

2. Drink less fancy coffee & get real coffee

Enough with the frou-frou drinks with whipped cream. Get some real coffee instead of a ‘milkshake’ for a change.

Your waistline will thank you.

3. Control public transport rage

The quote from The Devil Wears Prada, “By all means, move at a glacial pace. You know how that thrills me.” comes to mind each time it is peak hour.

I can’t count the number of times I wanted to smack someone who was walking so slowly because he or she was absorbed in a smartphone.

Resolve to be more patient with these slowpokes and smartphone addicts.

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4. Shed some pounds

This might be setting yourself up for failure (and it is one of the most repeated resolutions), so just aim to lose enough weight so that your arms don’t jiggle when you wave.

Or, to stop your thighs from chafing against each other when you walk.

5. Stop setting more than five alarms on your phone

The alarm is there to wake you. Get your lazy butt out of bed on the first one, or second one if you will.

If you’ve got to get up, you’ve got to get up. Just sayin’.

6. Read actual books

Magazines and gossip blog sites don’t count. Neither does 50 Shades of Grey.

Read a real book such as The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath or attempt the 1,000-plus page Les Miserables. (Yes, it was a book first, not a musical with Anne Hathaway).

Even if you don’t complete it, you’ll have a bookshelf that looks more intellectual.

7. Eat less junk

If you don’t buy it, you won’t eat it. Don’t sabotage yourself with chips, cookies and chocolates around the house. Ditto to fast food.

Learn how to make your own “junk” food from scratch if you have a craving. You’re likely to consume less salt, oil and preservatives.

It’s good to be healthy if you want to survive the zombie apocalypse.

8. Think before you Tweet

Or Facebook, or Instagram or Vine… whatever people do these days.

Whatever you put online never really goes away, even if you delete it. So, think, would you really want your grandmother to see that obscene post of what your boyfriend or girlfriend and you do to amuse each other? I don’t think so.

9. Smile in photos

I’m talking about you, Miley. Seriously, no duck face, sparrow face or what’s-her-face in photos.

Smile like a normal person. You don’t want your kids to go, “What was daddy/mommy thinking?”

10. Lose the phone

Not literally, but figuratively. This is probably the hardest on the list with phones being our multi-purpose everything these days. Not having it is like losing a limb.

But, for your own good, put the phone away at least once in a while.

The world is not going to end just because the #Igers (Instagrammers) did not see a picture of your fishball noodles.

Good luck in trying to keep them!

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