Much has been said about ang moh versus local men but is there really something wrong with local men or are women too picky?
Seeing inter-cultural or inter-racial couples has not been uncommon in Singapore for decades. Nonetheless, one of the increasingly common pairings seen is that of a Caucasian man and a Singaporean woman.
This combination has long been controversial among local Singaporean men and women. Perspectives on this range to opposite degrees, with most girls in such a relationship automatically branded as SPGs (Sarong Party Girls, who are only out for fun and the money of Caucasian men).
The SPG, as parodied by Michelle Chong’s Barbarella character on the satirical news programme, The Noose, is a polarisation of the stereotype that does exist in Singapore. From the fake accent to the materialistic sentiments to propensity to hang out in areas of high expat concentration, such as Holland Village, Singaporeans would be familiar with this less than popular subculture.
From Personal Experience
Personally, I would know because I have been called an SPG several times since I started dating my “ang moh boyfriend” [Caucasian boyfriend]. It doesn’t matter that we’ve been together for three years. People always give us funny looks, and immediately assume that we’re a “holiday hook-up”, for the most part.
Would I really be better off dating a local man? Would I be happier than I am presently? Maybe. But, to me, the race or ethnicity of my other half is not the main issue in a relationship. There are Singaporeans who agree with me.
For the Right Reasons?
In my opinion, Singaporeans in general are too obsessed with race and ethnicity. Just look at any incident that has been reported on any Singaporean news outlet. The race of the person always has to be highlighted.
Personally, I don’t think this is necessary. If someone has a good explanation as to why, please do share it with me.
In my personal opinion, many Singaporeans tend to jump at the opportunity to put down other ethnicities or nationalities when the opportunity presents itself. That also goes for our local girls in an inter-cultural or inter-racial relationship.
Noordiah Ahmad, a local lady who has dated both foreign and local men, says, “I can’t speak for all non-local men but at least the one that I had dated was more gentlemanly and romantic (than the local ones). Who doesn’t like to be romanced?”
“There is nothing wrong with Singaporean men; they are nice. But, perhaps, I haven’t met one for me yet,” she adds.
Beata Liew, a Singaporean girl who has been with her local boyfriend for the past five years says of inter-cultural relationships, “For some, I think it’s the image that they want to achieve and portray to their social circle. Perceptions of ‘white supremacy’ still exist (very evidently) in Singapore.”
“Someone once told me that having an ang moh boyfriend makes her more look more ‘worldly’, which put me off greatly,” she says.
Darren Ho, a Singaporean man who has dated both locals and foreigners, says, “It depends on a person’s upbringing. An individual’s ethos is never identical to the other. Hence, if you place a lady brought up in a more dominant Western culture with a man who’s raised in a staunch Asian background, the normal reaction is that the man is not adventurous enough and vice versa.”
What do you think? Do you agree with his statement?
Is There Really Something Wrong?
Sarah (pseudonym), a local girl who has only dated foreigners, bemoans the fact that Singaporean men, in general, dare not approach her.
“If they don’t talk to me, how would they get to know me?” she asks.
She also thinks that Singaporean men are too shy to even speak to her, and that they might need to improve on their social skills.
Local men, maybe you need to speak up or interact with the opposite gender more?
Chow Kai Ern, another Singaporean man who has dated both local and foreign women responds, “It’s not a matter of dare or dare not. Singaporeans are Asians, and Asians are more conservative; it’s just two entirely different cultures.”
“Just look at the recent Anton Casey incident. Just because he is ang moh doesn’t mean he needs improvement in his social skills?” Kai Ern questions.
Beata leaves us with this parting shot: “If people are going to categorise relationships by foreigners and locals, then I think that’s a really shallow thought. My two cents: Happiness with a man is based largely on connection. Even if a local girl nails a foreign man (and vice versa), it doesn’t mean and guarantee that she will be happy.”
Hear, hear. Preach, sister.
Do you agree? Do you disagree? Is there really something wrong with Singaporean men? Drop us a personal message on our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/weekendersgp and share
your thoughts with us.
By Cheryl Chia
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