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Being served in Singlish may be the funniest thing ever – just whack only
By Pamela Chow
The next time you check in at Changi Airport and are greeted with, “Welcome ah, we hope you enjoy your flight hor,” don’t panic.
Low-cost carrier Jetstar has made an interesting announcement: It has adopted Singlish as an official customer service language.
That means if you’re departing from Singapore on a Jetstar flight starting April, your journey will be, ahem, peppered with local ‘spice’. Also, from Mar 31, Singapore-based customers who visit www.jetstar.com will be automatically redirected to a Singlish version of the website.
Here’s what we would like do with the new Singlish service.
1. Chope seats on the plane
You can’t get any more Singaporean than choping, or reserving, good seats. Now that we have service staff to help us do so, you can bet we’re making full use of that.
“Miss can help me chope aisle seat?” I’ll say, and I hope they won’t charge me extra for the tissue packet to do so.
2. Order drinks like in a coffee shop
We don’t think the service staff will go so far as to don kopitiam uniforms or even drape a towel over their necks, but it won’t stop us from ordering our drinks like we’re in a coffee shop siew tai-, gao- and gar tai-style.
Then, just like how Singaporeans usually would, we’ll proceed to complain about how we just paid $6 for a cup of kopi-o. Expensive leh, wah lau eh.
3. Respond to the safety demonstration
Flight safety instructions are an integral part of every flying experience, and we’re looking forward to how this demonstration will be conducted in Singlish.
Jetstar revealed that phrases being taught to staff during training include “ho say“, “kiap your seatbelt tight” and “put your barang barang under your seat”.
On our end, the typical Singaporean response would be a nod or a wave of the hand with a slightly impatient “hana, hana” or “yar lar, yar lar“, while actually being grateful for and mindful of proper safety measures.
4. Be friendlier to service staff
If you’ve always wanted to express your gratitude to strangers or service staff by extending a warm “Thanks ah bro”, now, there’s nothing to stop you from doing just that.
It may not, however, be appropriate to reach in for a “bro” hug.
Don’t anyhow hor.
Disclaimer: This was an April Fools’ prank by Jetstar Asia. Staff will not be speaking Singlish during flights; however, the Jetstar website currently redirects Singapore users to a Singlish website.